Why do we give medals to couples who reach fifty years together, rather than flowers or chocolates? The answer comes not from modern guidebooks but from a very old poem, the scene in the Song of Songs where a husband knocks at night, his wife will not get up, and he walks away (Song of Songs 5-6). This sermon speaks about the neglect that pushes people apart, about forgiveness that must never be bought, and about the strength of remembering your wedding day when things are hardest. Listen if you need to hear that conflict does not have to be the end, but can be a new beginning.
Discussion questions
For your small group or for personal reflection after the sermon.
- In Song of Songs 5:2-8 the woman delays opening the door, and her husband leaves, leaving myrrh on the lock. What does this scene reveal about neglect and about a husband who neither breaks the door down nor forces his wife?
- From verse 5:9 the woman praises her beloved in words like those from their time of falling in love, and then recalls the garden where they belong to each other. Why do these memories matter so much to her in a moment of crisis?
- The preacher says love is built on small things and cannot be shown from a distance, after the fact, or in advance. What small kinds of neglect most easily drive spouses apart?
- The husband says, turn your eyes away from me, for they overwhelm me, so that his wife would not think she has to earn forgiveness. Why does forgiveness bought with sex, money or concessions destroy respect in a relationship?
- How can remembering your wedding day and the vow for better or for worse help in the hardest moments of a marriage or another close relationship?
- What one concrete step can you take this week to respond to conflict with love and forgive freely, so that a quarrel becomes a new beginning rather than an end?
