Can a marriage be built so that it does not collapse, when nobody plans a breakdown, yet the statistics are merciless? This sermon opens a series on the Song of Songs and, instead of studying other people’s failures, looks at the original: the first song, in which a simple vineyard girl and a king delight in each other (Song of Songs 1). Real love draws its strength from character, feeds on tenderness, and refuses to be rushed, and each of those lines has very concrete consequences for what you say to your wife or your husband today. Listen, even if you feel you started out crooked.
Discussion questions
For your small group or for personal reflection after the sermon.
- The Shulammite says of herself, "I am dark" and "my own vineyard I have not kept." What might these words have meant to the first hearers, and how does her self-image change when she calls herself a rose of Sharon?
- The bride delights in the king's name, and Song of Songs 2:7 urges, "Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." What does this passage teach about what love is built on and the pace it needs?
- The sermon says true love draws its strength from character, not from looks or a bank account. How can you tell that someone's character is being shaped by following Jesus?
- The king speaks words of delight, and he is the one who makes her beautiful in her own eyes. How do the words of someone close to you affect your sense of worth, and where do you look for it when those words are missing?
- The speaker warns that a lack of tenderness opens the door to looking elsewhere, and that children learn from us how to treat a spouse. What would you like to change in the way you speak about the people closest to you?
- What specific act of tenderness, such as a note, a text, or words spoken straight into someone's eyes with no expectations, will you show your spouse or someone close to you this week?
